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so everybody wants to be a great networker,but only a few people know how to play the game the right way. so, because of that, i decided to explainnetworking in a completely different way. obviously i used the word, "casanova" becausehe was a charmer and there's a part of networking and charming that both go together. so whether you know this or not, you networkin one of six different ways, and it has a lot to do with how, if you think about a player,stay with me here. if you think about a player, a man who isvery good with women, right? just think about a player, someone that isvery good with women.
they typically have one of six different stylesof how they get good with women. think about this for a moment here. the most common style we hear about is theflirt. what is the flirt? the flirt is a guy that's very good at flirtingwith girls. he's got very good at charming them and seducingthem with his words. he gets to network and gets to the girl hewants to with words. he's the flirt. the second type of player is the detective.
the detective is the guy who goes and likesa girl and let's say he likes michelle, he finds out everything about michelle. he finds out what's her favorite car, herfavorite song, favorite flower, favorite food, favorite drink, favorite everything. he finds out every single thing about michellebecause he's a researcher. he researches so much about michelle so bythe time he's asking her out, he already has a lot of info. these types of networkers are amazing at whatthey do. the third one is the promoter.
the promoter is somebody that let's say helikes michelle. the same guy that likes michelle. he goes and befriends michelle's best friends,five of them. and he does so good with her best friends. treats them well, takes care of them, youknow, whatever they want to do with the nightclub, restaurant, with the ticket, with whateverit is, he helps them. then he goes and becomes good friends withmichelle's dad or mom and he volunteers and he helps out. next thing you know, michelle has seven differentpeople who have the most influence on her
telling her how amazing billy is. and she realizes maybe she should give thisbilly kid a shot. and boom, they go out. the fourth type is the success. this is the guy that says, "i'm not the best-lookingguy in school, but here's what i'm going to do. i'm going to become so successful that michellehas to date me, and she will give more attention to me because i'm going to become so successful. so networkers that become so successful thateveryone is talking about their success.
and then boom, people do business with them. the fifth style is the man. this is the person that has the reputation. everybody talks about his reputation. oh, you know how he is, he's amazing withthe girls. he's amazing. he's got a reputation. in business, "oh, if you work with this guy,he's amazing. reputation.
and the last one is the comedian. if you've ever met a guy that charms a girlwith his humor, he's just funny -- i like him so much, he makes me laugh. every time i'm around him, he just makes melaugh. great networkers, and eventually she says,"i don't know why, but i think i'm falling in love with the guy. this is so weird. we were just friends and every time i'm aroundhim he just makes me feel. . . my boyfriend doesn't make me feel thatway.
that's a networker. he's incredible at networking and all of asudden, she is now dating billy, because billy is great at making her laugh. so all of these six steps, whether you knowit or not, not knowingly, you are generally going to network, charm or prospect two ofthese six ways. sometimes only one, but two of these six ways. sometimes you do more, but generally it'sgoing to be two of these six ways that you will network and charm people. so now let's take this right into networking.
so there are certain ways, certain thingsyou can do to become a networker. i'm going to give you 18 tips on how to bea solid networker. these are some i've used in my entire career. and there are many things here that you'llget that you'll say, "i've never heard of this one before. i've never heard of that one before." every one of these ways has worked for me. just so you know that. and some of them are just things you needto do and some of them are more actionable
items. #1: the first mistake everybody makes is thatmost people have no idea who they want as a customer. who is your customer? they don't know. i was at an event in a dallas office. i was at this office in dallas and i got upand i'm trying to make this point about networking. i said, "let me ask you guys a question here. who's single here?"
a bunch of people raised their hands. i said, "who would like to settle down andfind a real good girl?" one guy raises his hand. who knows what they want? the guy raises he hand. i said, "why don't you stand up." he stood up. i said, "tell me exactly what you're lookingfor in a woman." he said, "i want her to be nice, i want herto be church-going.
i want her to uh. . ." and he was stuck. he had no idea what he wanted. he was in his early 30s and didn't have agirlfriend. he had no clue what he wants. it's just not going to happen, if you don'tknow what you want. the same goes with who you want to networkwith. why is that so important? once you know who your customer is, theseare the things you need to know: agemarried or single -- what is the status of
where they're at? income level - what type of income are theymaking? where do they live? what is the demographic? education you know all this stuff you've got to do. then once you know who it is, the next questionyou've got to ask is who is connected with this customer. what do i mean by this?
watch this here. let's just say your customer is a 70-year-old,okay? 70 is your customer that you want to networkwith. who knows, or does business with 70 year olds? now watch this. who does business with 70 year olds? you may go and ask certain cpas. you may go and ask certain attorneys. you may go and ask certain people that areworking with retirement planning or estate
planning or insurance or health insuranceor doctors or maybe you're going to talk to doctors that deal with heart problems or somethingthat deals with that age. then you know how to get to your customer,because you first need to know who you know, then you need to know who knows your customerand get connected to them. if your customer is somebody that is, i don'tknow, if your customer is somebody that makes six figures. who do you need to know? you need to find out who knows people whomake six figures and get connected to them. this is not a hard thing to do, by the way.
this is not a very hard thing to do. once you figure out this formula, then youwork backwards. #1, that's the first point. #2: the second thing about networking is researchwho you're trying to reach. remember how we talked about the detective? research. maybe you want to get connected with somebodywho is going to get you into a massive market and you want to figure out a way to do businesswith that person. research that person.
research what's their favorite book, favoritecigar, favorite drink, favorite food, favorite bottle of wine. do they like wine? do they not like cigars? do they not like. . . who's their favorite sports team? you know, what city did they grow up in? do they like that city? what ethnicity are they?
are they from america? were they born in america? were they in the military before? did they like the military? how as their experience in the military? do they have a hero? who do they look up to? whatever it is, then you pack it, and connectthem through that. i remember one time i got an email.
a lot of people on linkedin send me a lotof different messages. and one time i got an email from this commercialreal estate agent. and it was so well written. i was so amazed by this guy. his name is forrest. he sends me this email and he says, "i justwant you to know that i've been following your content and i heard about you througha friend and i had a chance to go read your book, 25 laws for doing the impossible andi like #13 and . . . here's why i like law #13 because it reminded me of . . . and yourstyle of this is so good and we have something
in common. we both like the lakers and. . . all thisstuff he said. he said, "i would love to get 15 minutes ofyour time." so, he's a success and he bragged about himselfa little bit. he was very good about bragging about himselfa little bit, which is what you need to do. we'll talk about that here in a minute. so i said, "great, let's get on a call." so we get on a call. this is three years ago.
we get on a call. here's what the call sounds like. "oh my gosh, it's great. . . " 10 minutes, 12 minutes, into the calli asked, "what do you do?" oh, i'm a commercial real estate agent. oh really? yeah. tell me about that a little bit. he said, well, you know, what i'm doing, myspecialty is the valley -- and i'm in the
valley. and then i connected the dots. i had just listed my property -- it's a massiveproperty i had - the commission check was an $80,000 check. i had just listed my property and this guyfound out about the property, he researched, but nothing throughout that time, when i wasspeaking to him, i never felt like he was trying to impose the sale. then we talked about the deal. and i said, if anyone's going to do commercialreal estate, this is exactly how you need
to approach people like me that can potentiallyget you $50,000 - $100,000 deals. i was so impressed. why? because #2, he did so much research. he was the detective. he did so much research is what he did. #3: give yourself to the top. i love gifting myself to the top. i give this challenge to anybody that's inreal estate and sales and insurance and financial
services. i've got a challenge for you. here's my challenge. say you have 100 existing clients or you'vegot 50 existing clients and 50 people who would like to be your clients, okay, and they'reconnectors. what i mean by connectors is somebody worksat a country club, and he knows everybody because everybody at that country club whogoes and buys stuff, they all know this guy. but he's a guy that's a caddy or somethinglike that. he's not the country club manager, for instance.
take 100 bottles of wine, 3, 4, 5 6 dollarbottles of wine, $10 bottle of wine, whatever it is. take 100 of them. that's $600 to $800 investment. take the next 60 days and give away 1 or 2bottles of wine a day to one of your customers or to one of the people that you want to dobusiness with. or someone who knows who you want to do businesswith. he's going to connect you with who you wantto do business with. now, you take those bottles of wine and yougo and say, "hey john, i just wanted to say,
thank you so much for being a great client. i really like you as a client. you're so great. you treat me so good out of respect, and thereare so many clients that are emotional, but you're so steady. i just wanted to show you my appreciation,no reason, just wanted to give you this bottle of wine and than you for your service." oh my gosh, you didn't have to do that. oh, don't worry about it.
it's just great. they will say, "man, i feel so bad, how cani help you?" i mean, john, you know, the way i make mymoney is through referrals. the best way you can pay back is if you knowanybody that's this this this, you know if you know anybody. . . oh, you know what? you know, we just talked last week, one ofmy friends who was working over here they're thinking about buying a house and they don'tlike their current real estate agent. why don't you call them?
you should call them. oh, great. what's their name? boom. how easy that is. piece of cake. i used to give away books all the time. i'd give away so many books all the time. and they almost always, if i spent $1,000on books, i always 10xd the money.
if i spent $600 on wine, i almost always made,minimum, 6 - 30, $40,000 for giving away 100 bottles of wine at $6, $7, $8, $10. it always worked for me. i've never seen it not work. obviously, you need to do your follow up andyou need to do it in a very proper way, but it always works. but give yourself to the top. one of the guys i work with, jose, he's phenomenalat getting referrals. by far one of the best at getting referrals.
he goes to a client's house, he asks the client,"what's your dream car?" the client says, "i would like to one daybuy a brand spanking new jaguar." he says, oh my gosh, that's great. that's a nice car. makes a note. leaves. second appointment, he goes and buys the sameexact jaguar that he wants as a toy. spends $50. and he comes back to the client and says,"i have a surprise for you, a gift."
he says, "what's that?" last time i was here you told me that yourfavorite car is a jaguar. look, i couldn't go buy the jaguar brand newbecause it's $80,000, but i said i could do the second best thing he's a jaguar toy foryou. and he gives this jaguar toy. that client ends up making him thousands ofdollars. he spent $60 on a jaguar toy, simply becausehe's paying attention to the client on what the client is saying and he's gifting himselfto the top. you can gift your way to the top in the areaof networking.
#4:take care of your image. very simple. always be presentable. #5: be a little bit shameless and a littlebit fearless. you cannot be the flirt is a little bit shameless. the flirt is a little bit shameless. he's willing to approach the girl and saycertain things that maybe you're not willing to do. and you're like, "oh, no, no, there is noway she's going to like that."
the flirt can actually get away with that,because he's a little bit shameless. and you're ashamed a little bit. what if she doesn't like this? he's shameless. this style (flirt) requires you to be a littlebit shameless. a little bit fearless. the guy who dated the hottest girl at school-- always remember this - the guy who dated the hottest girl in school generally was theguy who was shameless. generally was a guy who was shameless.
there's a part of him that had the guts togo ask her out. #6: be visible. let me explain to you what i mean by beingvisible. be visible. be in their face regularly. be relevant whether it's social media, youknow, being out there. go to the events. if there's local events in your area, go tothese events. go to the places that everybody goes to.
if there's certain national conventions thathave to do with your industry, go to every single one of them. because they're going to see you. there are certain areas they need to see youover and over and oh my gosh, you see her again. oh, it's you again. hey, let me introduce you, this is jack. jack and i. . . are friends. connect.
okay? because you're constantly being visible. they constantly see you. they're constantly seeing you. it's almost like you're at five differentplaces at the same time. like ryan seacrest in la. ryan seacreast - itfeels like he's on five different shows at the same time. it kind of pays him 40 million dollars a year,so it pays to be very, very visible. #7: next, have credible names building youup.
if you're always helping out, you're eventuallygoing to have certain credible names that know about you. the other day i read a book i really liked. the book was written by a guy named jules. so i sent an email to jules after i read thebook and i said, "hey, i really like your book, jules." i sent this email from a flight. "i really like this book, jules." he took that email and he posted it on socialmedia platforms.
it said, "patrick bet-david said he likedmy book." great. then he responds back and he says, "do youmind giving me an endorsement?" do you mind saying something about this bookand taking a picture of you with the book?" i thought, you know what, good for you. because he wants credible people to see themsaying good things about him. and it's not that hard to get quotes frompeople, just so you know that. just make sure you're giving something inreturn. people ask me all the time, hey, pat, canyou give me an endorsement?
and i say, i don't even know what you're doing. so you start off with how can i help, thenyou ask. you don't just come and say, "gimme, gimme,gimme." it doesn't work that way. you've got to first say, "how can i help?" then in return, can i get this? yes. so have some credible names that are sayinggood things about you. #8: have the reputation of being an experton what you do.
that's the success. you have status. you have a reputation of being good at whatyou do. when you have a reputation of being an expert,it's very easy to network with people because people already know who you are. so have a reputation of being a success story. #9: be extremely helpful. you know, there's a certain thing like thinkabout a guy that's too pushy too early with a girl.
i mean, that's just very ugly, right? it's just annoying. it's not the flirt. believe or or not, the flirt -- i'm not talkingabout the obnoxious flirt. i'm talking about the charming flirt. this is not about the obnoxious, hey, youwanna go out, you wanna go out. that's obnoxious. i'm talking about being extremely helpful,always coming from a place of hey, how can i help.
hey, john, is there any way i can help you? and if you made 20 calls, let's just say you'vegot 30 people you'd like to network with. and you go their numbers. and you make a list of them today, and youspend the next two hours calling these 30 people. and you ask one question. hey john, one of the things i want to do thismonth, i committed to this year, i want to be able to help as many people as possiblewith their business and i just wanted to call you.
i'm an entrepreneur myself and i know whatit is as an entrepreneur you need a lot of help because you need other people that mayknow the right people, the right connections. maybe certain things i can help you with. john, right now, what is one of the thingsyou're struggling with the most in business and how can i help you?" out of 30 calls, half of them are going tosay, i'm totally fine, don't worry about it. the other 15 is going to lead to, you knowthere is one area i wouldn't mind getting some help with. here's one of the things i'm struggling with.
how do you deal with this? oh, here's what i do. . . oh, read this article. i read this book, it helped me out. oh, no way. oh, you know what, john? you're so helpful, man. thank you. then guess what's the line?
how can i help you? then you say, you know, thank you so much,man, you don't have to do this, but here's how you can help. . . . right? #10: don't invite them back to your placetoo early. you know what i'm saying? don't invite them back to your place too early. like this netowrking isn't a one-night standtype of thing. networking is relationship type of thing.
so don't ask for favors too early. i kind of covered that a little bit earlier. don't ask for favors too early. it's kind of ugly, it's offensive a littlebit. and it's a turnoff. it's a very big turnoff to most people. if somebody generally says yes right off thebat, there's a little bit of turnoff in there. even though you may get what you want, there'sa bit of a turnoff that's not a long-term client, maybe.
#11:always have a positive attitude. there's nothing like having a positive attitude. people can feel by the way a positive attitudein an email. people can feel a positive attitude in anemail, even an email people can feel positive. it was a pleasure meeting you the other day. i was so excited when you told me the storyabout . . . so excited. there are certain words that can bring upexcitement in an email. #12: develop the skill of small talk. whether it's on email, on facebook, on socialmedia, face-to-face, small talk.
current events. hey, what do you think about what happenedwith the trade recently. what do you think about westbrook, the factthat he stayed? if they're a sports person, have a sportsconversation. hey, what do you think about what's goingon right now? how amazing is this political thing rightnow that's going on? right? i mean it's crazy. you've got both sides, it's just like, i'venever seen this much hate before.
it's insane. what do you think about that? people don't want to touch politics, but it'sa current event. hey, what do you think about what happenedwith the weather over there? what are your thoughts on this? what are your thoughts on that? humor. the comedian, if it works for you. entertain.
small talk is a bit of entertaining. and one of the things is i would do on elevatorsis let's just say i go into an elevator and there's six people in there. when people walk into an elevator, the firstthing they do is what? they stand this way and they wait for thedoor to close. try this one time. go into the elevator and look at everybody. when the door closes behind you and say, thisis pretty uncomfortable, huh? i read this article that said if you go intoan elevator and stand and face people, they
get very uncomfortable. are you guys a little bit uncomfortable? yes, we're uncomfortable. i say, well. . . and that breaks the ice. that's great. and the next time in that elevator, everytime you go in, people will say, "you going to stand like that again?" the relationship. there's small talk.
how do you feel about the weather? we live in dallas, so every other day herein dallas, it changes. there's a surprise here. you can always have a weather conversation. smile, eye contact, compliment, good handshake,details. everything is about details. i like the shoes you've got on. those are nice shoes. you know.
. . neiman marcus, nordstrom. . . by the way,the watch you have on, that watch, you know, i don't know if most people know, that's avery. . . details. details. people like details. i like accents, because i have an accent. so i'll say, hey, i like your accent. where are you from? i'm from britain.
very cool, you know. how long have you been in the states? i like accents. i'm always curious about where people arefrom. so hey, where are you from? did you grow up here? no, i grew up. . how was it? small talk, right?
#13 develop listening skills. i know when someone is not interested. at all. okay. and they're just doing it because they'resupposed to be doing it. but i also know when someone is interested. they look in my eye, they don't do these typesof things [looking at a watch]. they're just kind of giving you the entireattention that you need, right? when it comes down to relationships.
develop listening skills. #14: send written notes. i'm big on written notes. i love sending cards to people. because no one's doing it any more. #15: be a connector. and have it diverse group of connections toconnect people with. the best auto insurance guy, the best healthinsurance person, the best pediatrician, the best doctor, the best personal trainer, thebest, chiropractor, the best whatever it is,
be a connector. so when you're asking people how can i help,you have the connectors. you have the things to connect them with. be a very, very good connector. keep connecting people together. and eventually you become the best connectorand everybody wants to tell you, they say, you've got to go talk to john. you've got to go talk to pat, right? #16: have a solid brand, a very, very solidbrand, online with social media.
i don't believe in business cards. there's a lot of people that say, oh, you'vegot to have a business card. i literally, i don't have business cards. i collect business cards, i don't have businesscards. that's unprofessional, patrick. linkedin is your business card today. i don't need a business card today. i simply ask if you're on linkedin, let'sconnect. what's your name?
perfect. that's how i'm connecting nowadays. there is no business cards today. your business card on linkedin says way morethan your business card is going to say on a sheet of paper. why would i care about your business card? all i need is your number, i'll put your numberin my phone, and then i'll say what's your name, i'll look you up on linkedin. i'll send a connection and boom, there youhave it.
now go clean up your social media profile,your brand. sometimes people don't even look at theironline brand. they don't realize they have a picture ofthem doing a beer bong from two years ago. you've got to take that down. you know, they've got a picture of them twerkingand you're trying to go work with a lawyer, and your market's going to change in two years,but you forgot to take down that twerking picture. you probably got to take down that twerkingpicture. but if you're in the business of hip hop anddance, maybe that twerking dance is not bad
to leave it on there. so what is your market, make sure you cleanup your social media platform. #17: be authentic. be yourself. if you're the detective. be a detective, man. if you're a charmer, be a charmer. be the flirt. if you're the comedian, be the comedian.
if you try to be one you're not, it comesacross very awkward. people sense awkward like [snap] this. you ever watch people on youtube or t.v. wherethey try too hard. this guy's just not himself. it just doesn't fit. johnny carson, when he first got started ont.v. got criticized a lot. because he kept trying to be somebody else. then one day somebody just said, johnny, you'refine the way you are. just go on tv and be johnny.
so one day he goes on t.v. and boom! that's when johnny carson got started. because all he did, he was johnny carson. hey, you know, his hands in his pockets, andthe way he would talk, and he would do his things that he would do, and that's johnny. everybody fell in love with johnny at night. johnny became johnny, right? and #18 learn how to brag about yourself withoutbragging about yourself. how do you do that?
there's an art to it. learn how to talk about some of your successwithout sounding too cocky and arrogant about it. because people do want to know that you havebeen successful, but you've got to do it in a very gentle way. girls want to know that guy's have had somekind of success. guys want to know that girls have done somestuff. yeah, in school i was valedictorian or inschool i played sports, i was a quarterback. yeah, the stereotype, i was that guy playingthe quarterback and i was pretty good.
i was all american and had a good time, itwas great. . . yeah, know right now with business i dohave three offices, business is going good, i'm very excited about one of our officeswe're doing this with. i've never seen a business. . . but tell me about yourself. tell me how things are with you. very subtle. not, "let me tell you who i am." subtle.
now there's a time for that, when somebodyis bullying you. but that's a different story. i'm talking about just purely networking. i'm talking just simply about networking withpeople. so, these are 18 different points for you. and hopefully, when you're looking at this,you're going to look at networking and charming and casanova and all this other stuff in acompletely different way. you may want to watch this thing over againand kind of going through and take notes and figure out which one is you.
and start implementing these things and i'dlove to hear some of the stuff that you're implementing and how it's working for you,especially the wine story. i would love to get a snapchat from you. you can follow me on snapchat betdavid19. so with that being said, hey folks, we'regetting close but we're not there yet. our goal is to get to 100k subs on this youtubechannel. we believe we can go pound for pound againstanybody else on youtube on a subject of entrepreneurship and you feel that way as well, if you've gota lot of value from this video, please click the subscribe on this channel, and if youalready are subscribed, help get this message
out to other people that can subscribe aswell and get value from this content that we have today, about entrepreneurship andif you watch this video on a completely different website, you can always come back to patrickbetdavid.comand there's a ton of content on there about entrepreneurship. thanks for watching everybody. take care. bye bye.
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